brianandruby.org

Better late than never… here is the long-awaited post about what was served at the wedding.

Thanks again to our friend and wonderful chef Vimala Rajendran, whose homestyle Indian food was a massive hit! To get on her announcement list for weekly meals or contact her for catering, e-mail: curryblossom AT bellsouth DOT net

Appetizers:

• Asparagus, marinated in homemade asian dressing (ginger, garlic, sesame, red pepper)
• Dal wada, lentil patties with ginger, onion, and curry leaves
• Pakodas, chickpea batter-dipped mixed vegetable fritters
• Coconut chutney dipping sauce, coconut, tamarind and shallots
• Cilantro-mint chutney, spicy sauce with green chilies, mint and tamarind
• Pappadum, crispy lentil wafers with cumin seeds

Buffet dinner:

• Chana masala, chick peas with fresh tomatoes, mango, pomegranate seeds, cumin and garlic
• Salmon, fish poached in coconut milk with saffron, green mango, chillies, and curry leaves
• Aloo gobhi, cauliflower and potato with mild aromatic spices
• Dal, lentils with garlic, chilies and tumeric
• Garden salad, cilantro-lime salad dressing or oil-vinegar salad dressing
• Raita, yogurt, cucumbers, roasted cumin
• Basmati Rice pulao, rice with saffron and whole spices (cloves, cinnamon, cardamom and bay leaves)
• Garlic naan & plain naan, bread
• Fresh lemonade
• Homemade iced tea

Dessert:

• Iced chai, black tea, milk, spices
• Iced coffee
• Double-chocolate cardamom brownies by Vimala



• Popsicles by LocoPops!
  • mango with chile (hot)
  • pomegranate orange
  • pistachio
  • very berry
  • Mexican chocolate

Wow, we finally did it! I must say I had the time of my life and it looked like some of you did too. You can see for yourself on Flickr.com where we are aggregating wedding photos by tagging them “brianandruby.” You can view them in chronological order, or by interestingness.

Please sign up at Flickr (it’s free) and add your own photos!

Now, in the eyes of the state and in our hearts, Brian and I are married. Here are the words spoken at yesterday’s ceremony:

Opening statement/why we are here
Excerpt from Massachusetts state supreme court ruling allowing gay marriage
read by Nicole Graysmith

Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations. Without question, civil marriage enhances the “welfare of the community.” It is a “social institution of the highest importance.”

Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Tangible as well as intangible benefits flow from marriage. The benefits accessible only by way of a marriage license are enormous, touching nearly every aspect of life and death. Without the right to marry, one is excluded from the full range of human experience.

Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.

Final stanza of Song of the Open Road by Walt Whitman
read by Ruby Sinreich

…the road is before us!
It is safe—I have tried it—my own feet have tried it well—be not detain’d!
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the
shelf unopen’d!
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn’d!
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher!
Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the
court, and the judge expound the law.

Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

Sonnet II by Pablo Neruda
read by Brian Russell

Love, how many roads to obtain a kiss,
what lonely wanderings before finding you!
Trains now trundle through the rain without me.
Spring has yet to come to Taltal.

But you and I, my love, are together,
together from our clothes to our bones,
together in Autumn, in our water, at our hips,
until it’s just you together, me together.

To think it took all the stones borne by the river,
flowing out of the mouth of the river Boroa;
to think that, held apart by trains and nations

you and I had but to love each other,
with everyone mixed up, with men and women,
with the earth that nurtures the carnations.

On Marriage from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
read by Sherrie Lemnios (Ruby’s mother)

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

Marriage Joins Two People In The Circle Of Its Love by Edmund O’Neill
read by Joey Russell (Brian’s brother)

Marriage is a commitment to life, the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal. It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.

Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life’s most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child.

Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.

Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.

When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfil.

on friendship by George Eliot
Read by Melissa Trachtenberg

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.

Two Happy Lovers by Pablo Neruda
Read by Mathias Leppitsch

Two happy lovers make one bread,
a single moon drop in the grass.
Walking, they cast two shadows that flow together;
waking, they leave one sun empty in their bed.

Of all the possible truths, they chose the day;
they held it, not with ropes but with an aroma.
They did not shred the peace; they did not shatter words;
their happiness is a transparent tower.

The air and wine accompany the lovers.
The night delights them with its joyous petals.
They have a right to all the carnations.

Two happy lovers, without an ending, with no death,
they are born, they die, many times while they live:
they have the eternal life of the Natural.

Vows read by Ruby and Brian to each other
source unknown

I take you as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.